Thursday, December 31, 2015
20) "Ooh, I'm all butch and badass and everything because I'm not sensitive about feefees" -- Narc Swine
19) "Yadda yadda yadda, blah blah blah" -- Piggy Pooman
18) "War is kewl" -- Nom Bottom
17) "The most extremely right wing party ever, which is right wing to an infinite and increasing degree, isn't right wing enough, WAA!" -- Ben 'Towda' Shapiro
16) "Ah jus plumb don't cotton to this yoooropeen hawgwash, 'cuz I'z setch a shovenistical hillbilly type, an I hearby invoke Godwin!" -- Thumbs Ass So Well
15) " " -- Gym Teacher
14) "Hate crimes are the bees knees" -- Avid Frencher . . . of butts
13) "I deny that racism exists" -- Generic Gay Mind
12) "I'm ignorant because somehow in High School I didn't learn that George Orwell was a socialist" -- Robert Tracesoffecesinski
11) "The police are infallible" -- Carl "I'll bet this means something gross on urban dictionary" Jackson
10) "Greed is good" -- Bugged Dowlow
9) "Martin Bashir gave my MOM the old 'Carl Jackson'" -- Donald (Wait for it) CHUMP!
8) "I like to question the patriotism of freethinking iconoclasts" -- Jewnah Goldbug
7) "I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face, and a big butt, and my butt smells, and I like to kiss my own butt" -- Ass Cut Turds
6) "I hate gay people because I'm a big fag" -- Seven Dill Holes On
5) "I'm a big chicken traitor who's letting the terrorists win" -- Meat Ballsh
4) "Boo hoo, no fair, my fee fees" -- Zed Loose
3) "I'm so privileged and entitled and everything I think I should be allowed to disagree with underpriveleged voices who have been silenced for too long" -- Peegan McGargle
2) "I'm so evil I ridicule my own practical idea for peace in the middle east" -- Wayne Lap Pooer
1) "I am literally made entirely of racism" -- Snark Heaving
Sunday, December 27, 2015
Saturday, December 26, 2015
• Rights are for The People, not those people.
• T R E A S O N ! ! ! ! !
• The original Guy Who Got It.
• Everyone is just as bad as everyone else, except me, I'm implicitly better for realizing that.
• Intense suffering remembered.
• Esoteric TRVTH, that's the best kind of truth.
• Wall of Seperation, disregarded.
• Slavery benefactor hushes it up.
• Bigot lashes out at people who are different.
• A noteworthy addition to the list of new n-words.
• Abortion is so awesome, guiz.
• I call dogwhistle.
• In which I am introduced to Laurie Penny.
• Elections are only valid when they have a certain outcome.
• I MONKEY-FIGHTING LOVE ME SOME MONKEY-FIGHTING SCIENCE!
• In which I bait thy click.
• Ancient Yiddish curse: May you attempt sarcasm on the internet.
• Science, democracy, whatever, I love it all.
• Whinging bibley-wibley wussy whiners get shut down by science.
• Science has failed.When it reaches the wrong conclusions, then it has obviously sold out to the international bankers cabbal.
• Did they ever actually decide who to put on the $10?
• A tale of privilege and entitlement.
• Hey, this one's about Sarah Palin. I should tag those.
• Minority Othered, then apologizes, because the patriarchy brainwashed her, I guess.
• Racism rebutted, with extreme prejudice.
• Send for your NYT decoder ring to find out who causes all of the wars: sʍǝſ ǝɥ┴
• Have I mentioned how awesome abortion is?
• Education defended.
• Boy, Donald Trump sure is a Nazi, ammirite?
• The "I'm a pedophile, you're the monsters" guy was only a few months ago? Seems like it's been longer.
• So many posts this year, and only one fisking?
• What an embarrassing position this unfortunate fellow has been placed in by those embarrassing people.
• I actually screencapped this one from facebook myself.
• You had a chance to start Christmas shopping early this year.
• Sally Kohn hates Muslims.
• Myopic reactionary opposes rape, instead of opposing rape culture, which is what is cool to do instead now.
• Objectivist stoners think they're smarter than law students.
• I guess I actually did two fiskings this year. Forgot this one.
• More people would understand this if they'd been able to witness firsthand how VIVACIOUS this maniac was.
• Get a load of all this ooga-booga thoughts and prayers woo.
OK, I think you're pretty much up to date now.
Thursday, December 24, 2015
Tuesday, December 22, 2015
Sunday, December 20, 2015
Saturday, December 19, 2015
Thursday, December 17, 2015
Monday, December 14, 2015
Sunday, December 13, 2015
Saturday, December 12, 2015
Friday, December 11, 2015
Thursday, December 10, 2015
Tuesday, December 8, 2015
Saturday, December 5, 2015
Thursday, December 3, 2015
Wednesday, December 2, 2015
Monday, November 30, 2015
Sunday, November 29, 2015
Saturday, November 28, 2015
Friday, November 27, 2015
Thursday, November 26, 2015
Sunday, November 22, 2015
1. You accepted pay for typing the phrase, "corporate partnership for sustainability going forward". Shame on you.
2. Is too.
3. You sound like a typical Amerikkkan filthy capitalist running-dog bourgeois pig reactionary teatard misogynistic shill scab.
5. Putting people out of work to make the welfare system work better? Well, OK, Ms. Whackadoodle Crazypants.
6. Sounds like I should dump my Danish telecom stock, because "limited government involvement" = apocalyptic dystopian chaos.
7. So just eliminate or re-educate all the people who don't trust the government, duh.
8. Just absurd on the face of it, everyone knows that Scandinavians are all atheists and that's the main reason they're superior to ooga booga skyfairy ka ka poo poos.
9. It sounds like you're saying we should collaborate with fascists?
Saturday, November 21, 2015
Friday, November 20, 2015
Thursday, November 19, 2015
Wednesday, November 18, 2015
Saturday, November 14, 2015
Friday, November 13, 2015
Wednesday, November 11, 2015
Monday, November 9, 2015
Saturday, November 7, 2015
Thursday, November 5, 2015
Sunday, November 1, 2015
Friday, October 30, 2015
Thursday, October 29, 2015
Wednesday, October 28, 2015
Monday, October 26, 2015
Sunday, October 25, 2015
Saturday, October 24, 2015
Friday, October 23, 2015
Thursday, October 22, 2015
Tuesday, October 20, 2015
Sunday, October 18, 2015
Saturday, October 17, 2015
Friday, October 16, 2015
Wednesday, October 14, 2015
I'd better get this out of the way before it's time for the year end best of post.
• Demand threatens to outstrip supply.
• Another asassination via figurative targeting, preempted. Fwew.
• This is my favorite of the poop ones.
• From the Duck Crisis of '13.
• From the Myth Implosion Crisis of '13.
• That old, "policies have secondary effects" mumbo-jumbo, refuted.
• Crypto racism, deduced from supposed policy opposition.
• In which I am rendered speechless, and must merely point at the fascist freak.
• Rape apologism, abbreviated.
• This is pretty disrespectful.
• Rule I made up, enforced.
• Just some guy being racist.
• Analogies are to Hitler what crap is to your mom.
• Borders = racism.
• Getting into some weird headspace here, man.
• Remember Sally Kohn? How about Triumph the Dog?
• A troubling trend is not arrested.
• Something about the guy from Phantoms.
• Look out, it's a homophobe!
• WEE-OOO, someone said slavery.
Monday, October 12, 2015
Saturday, October 10, 2015
Friday, October 9, 2015
Thursday, October 8, 2015
Tuesday, October 6, 2015
Saturday, October 3, 2015
Friday, October 2, 2015
Thursday, October 1, 2015
- This is victim-blaming, rape-culture, rape-apologism, rape-victim-culture-blame-rape-rape, and racepism.
- The most casual perusal of Talking Points Memo proves that Democrats are always quite moderate and Republicans just keep getting more extreme. But you people don't like reading things that challenge your preconceptions, do you?
- You're the one's who should take responsibility. For the bad stuff. That you're responsible for. Koch brothers.
- That's racist.
- "I'm a big dumb idiot who isn't smart" - Snarls Kook-slimer
- Sometimes they're Green or a Socialist.
- Yeah, like YOU people! Not us, YOU!!!
- "Duh, me no know Republicans extreme because me no reed." - Blames Blow'Beef
- Don't question my patriotism.
- Hey buddy, if you don't like how we do things here in the good ol' USA, yew can just git out.
- This one actually is true, because corporate media has a pro corporate capitali$t bia$. Corporati$m. $wa$tica.
- Yum, white tears.
- (link anecdote about private business that went under due to inefficiency)
- Halliburton Koch brothers pee pee doo doo wee wee.
- So I suppose policies should serve the interest of majorities instead of minorities, then?
- Change "interest groups" to "Jews" and "voters" to "white Christian heterosexuals". Now how does it sound?
- Oh, yeah, well how about I take a dump on your face?
- No, YOU!!!
- Rich people still exist, therefore the government is not taxing and spending enough, QED.
- Eat crap.
- "I like eat poop or something." - Dumn-ass So-smell
- You're so dumb and extreme you don't even believe that we've been constantly moving toward extreme right-wing dystopia no matter how many times you're told.
- That wasn't Voltaire, that was a bad guy, so you're bad.
- Well, I'm SORRY I just truth-blitterated you with my smart-vicserating logic-bombs of win.
Wednesday, September 30, 2015
Monday, September 28, 2015
Saturday, September 26, 2015
Friday, September 25, 2015
Wednesday, September 23, 2015
Tuesday, September 22, 2015
Monday, September 21, 2015
Sunday, September 20, 2015
Saturday, September 19, 2015
Friday, September 18, 2015
Thursday, September 17, 2015
- He's very subtle about it.
- They don't appreciate the importance of the administration's popularity in Cuba.
- They are imperialist racists.
- Poo poo pee pee.
Monday, September 14, 2015
Sunday, September 13, 2015
Saturday, September 12, 2015
Tuesday, September 8, 2015
Sunday, September 6, 2015
Saturday, September 5, 2015
Thursday, September 3, 2015
Sunday, August 30, 2015
Saturday, August 29, 2015
Friday, August 28, 2015
Thursday, August 27, 2015
- Rocky IV is literally the only historical precedent for Russian territorial aggression.
- The existence of submarines renders the rest of the navy entirely obsolete.
- When white people get arrested, they're allowed to just beat the cop up and leave.
- All of the dissenting opinions in Obergefell v. Hodges were just crude paraphrases from Leviticus, and are satisfactorily refuted by smartass remarks about shrimp.
- George Takei has dignity.
- Depending on who you are, mentioning slavery can be tantamount to defending it.
- Apart from their genocidal racism, the police never do anything else wrong.
Tuesday, August 25, 2015
I'm getting lazy here, that's the actual headline. Anyway, I don't want to insult my readers by explaining that "limited" is the same as "eliminated". You know that.
Saturday, August 22, 2015
Tuesday, August 18, 2015
Sunday, August 16, 2015
Friday, August 7, 2015
Thursday, August 6, 2015
Wednesday, August 5, 2015
Saturday, August 1, 2015
Friday, July 31, 2015
Thursday, July 30, 2015
Deny → Insult → General incredulity → More insult → Mention that you went to college → Repeat