Thursday, December 31, 2015

The Final Fisking of '15

John Hawkins thinks these are The 20 Best Quotes of 2015. I think I'll paraphrase them by way of rebuttal, or, rebut them by way of paraphrasing, however that phrase works.

20) "Ooh, I'm all butch and badass and everything because I'm not sensitive about feefees" -- Narc Swine
19) "Yadda yadda yadda, blah blah blah" -- Piggy Pooman
18) "War is kewl" -- Nom Bottom
17) "The most extremely right wing party ever, which is right wing to an infinite and increasing degree, isn't right wing enough, WAA!" -- Ben 'Towda' Shapiro
16) "Ah jus plumb don't cotton to this yoooropeen hawgwash, 'cuz I'z setch a shovenistical hillbilly type, an I hearby invoke Godwin!" -- Thumbs Ass So Well

15) " " -- Gym Teacher
14) "Hate crimes are the bees knees" -- Avid Frencher . . . of butts
13) "I deny that racism exists" -- Generic Gay Mind
12) "I'm ignorant because somehow in High School I didn't learn that George Orwell was a socialist" -- Robert Tracesoffecesinski
11) "The police are infallible" -- Carl "I'll bet this means something gross on urban dictionary" Jackson
10) "Greed is good" -- Bugged Dowlow
9) "Martin Bashir gave my MOM the old 'Carl Jackson'" -- Donald (Wait for it) CHUMP!
8) "I like to question the patriotism of freethinking iconoclasts" -- Jewnah Goldbug
7) "I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face, and a big butt, and my butt smells, and I like to kiss my own butt" -- Ass Cut Turds
6) "I hate gay people because I'm a big fag" -- Seven Dill Holes On
5) "I'm a big chicken traitor who's letting the terrorists win" -- Meat Ballsh
4) "Boo hoo, no fair, my fee fees" -- Zed Loose
3) "I'm so privileged and entitled and everything I think I should be allowed to disagree with underpriveleged voices who have been silenced for too long" -- Peegan McGargle
2) "I'm so evil I ridicule my own practical idea for peace in the middle east" -- Wayne Lap Pooer
1) "I am literally made entirely of racism" -- Snark Heaving

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