Fisk Like The Wind

John Hawkins has 25 Useful Political Rules of Thumb I have 25 Zippy Comebacks for him:

1. This is victim-blaming, rape-culture, rape-apologism, rape-victim-culture-blame-rape-rape, and racepism.
2. The most casual perusal of Talking Points Memo proves that Democrats are always quite moderate and Republicans just keep getting more extreme. But you people don't like reading things that challenge your preconceptions, do you?
3. You're the one's who should take responsibility. For the bad stuff. That you're responsible for. Koch brothers.
4. That's racist.
5. "I'm a big dumb idiot who isn't smart" - Snarls Kook-slimer
6. Sometimes they're Green or a Socialist.
7. Yeah, like YOU people! Not us, YOU!!!
8. "Duh, me no know Republicans extreme because me no reed." - Blames Blow'Beef
9. Don't question my patriotism.
10. Hey buddy, if you don't like how we do things here in the good ol' USA, yew can just git out.
11. This one actually is true, because corporate media has a pro corporate capitali$t bia$. Corporati$m. $wa$tica.
12. Yum, white tears.
13. (link anecdote about private business that went under due to inefficiency)
14. Halliburton Koch brothers pee pee doo doo wee wee.
15. So I suppose policies should serve the interest of majorities instead of minorities, then?
16. Change "interest groups" to "Jews" and "voters" to "white Christian heterosexuals". Now how does it sound?
17. Oh, yeah, well how about I take a dump on your face?
18. No, YOU!!!
19. Rich people still exist, therefore the government is not taxing and spending enough, QED.
20. Eat crap.
21. "I like eat poop or something." - Dumn-ass So-smell
22. You're so dumb and extreme you don't even believe that we've been constantly moving toward extreme right-wing dystopia no matter how many times you're told.
23. Kakapoopoo!
24. That wasn't Voltaire, that was a bad guy, so you're bad.
25. Well, I'm SORRY I just truth-blitterated you with my smart-vicserating logic-bombs of win.