The Final Fisking of '15

John Hawkins thinks these are The 20 Best Quotes of 2015. I think I'll paraphrase them by way of rebuttal, or, rebut them by way of paraphrasing, however that phrase works.

20) "Ooh, I'm all butch and badass and everything because I'm not sensitive about feefees" -- Narc Swine
19) "Yadda yadda yadda, blah blah blah" -- Piggy Pooman
18) "War is kewl" -- Nom Bottom
17) "The most extremely right wing party ever, which is right wing to an infinite and increasing degree, isn't right wing enough, WAA!" -- Ben 'Towda' Shapiro
16) "Ah jus plumb don't cotton to this yoooropeen hawgwash, 'cuz I'z setch a shovenistical hillbilly type, an I hearby invoke Godwin!" -- Thumbs Ass So Well

15) " " -- Gym Teacher
14) "Hate crimes are the bees knees" -- Avid Frencher . . . of butts
13) "I deny that racism exists" -- Generic Gay Mind
12) "I'm ignorant because somehow in High School I didn't learn that George Orwell was a socialist" -- Robert Tracesoffecesinski
11) "The police are infallible" -- Carl "I'll bet this means something gross on urban dictionary" Jackson
10) "Greed is good" -- Bugged Dowlow
9) "Martin Bashir gave my MOM the old 'Carl Jackson'" -- Donald (Wait for it) CHUMP!
8) "I like to question the patriotism of freethinking iconoclasts" -- Jewnah Goldbug
7) "I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face, and a big butt, and my butt smells, and I like to kiss my own butt" -- Ass Cut Turds
6) "I hate gay people because I'm a big fag" -- Seven Dill Holes On
5) "I'm a big chicken traitor who's letting the terrorists win" -- Meat Ballsh
4) "Boo hoo, no fair, my fee fees" -- Zed Loose
3) "I'm so privileged and entitled and everything I think I should be allowed to disagree with underpriveleged voices who have been silenced for too long" -- Peegan McGargle
2) "I'm so evil I ridicule my own practical idea for peace in the middle east" -- Wayne Lap Pooer
1) "I am literally made entirely of racism" -- Snark Heaving

Woman tries to look feminine and pretty

Boooooo.

Year end best of 2015

I posted a lot this year, and it wasn't all poo.

• Rights are for The People, not those people.
• T R E A S O N ! ! ! ! !
• The original Guy Who Got It.
• Everyone is just as bad as everyone else, except me, I'm implicitly better for realizing that.
• Intense suffering remembered.
• Esoteric TRVTH, that's the best kind of truth.
• Wall of Seperation, disregarded.
• Slavery benefactor hushes it up.
• Bigot lashes out at people who are different.
• A noteworthy addition to the list of new n-words.
• Abortion is so awesome, guiz.
• I call dogwhistle.
• In which I am introduced to Laurie Penny.
• Elections are only valid when they have a certain outcome.
• I MONKEY-FIGHTING LOVE ME SOME MONKEY-FIGHTING SCIENCE!
• In which I bait thy click.
• Ancient Yiddish curse: May you attempt sarcasm on the internet.
• Science, democracy, whatever, I love it all.
• Whinging bibley-wibley wussy whiners get shut down by science.
• Science has failed.When it reaches the wrong conclusions, then it has obviously sold out to the international bankers cabbal.
• Did they ever actually decide who to put on the $10?
• A tale of privilege and entitlement.
• Hey, this one's about Sarah Palin. I should tag those.
• Minority Othered, then apologizes, because the patriarchy brainwashed her, I guess.
• Racism rebutted, with extreme prejudice.
• Send for your NYT decoder ring to find out who causes all of the wars: sʍǝſ ǝɥ┴
• Have I mentioned how awesome abortion is?
• Education defended.
• Boy, Donald Trump sure is a Nazi, ammirite?
• The "I'm a pedophile, you're the monsters" guy was only a few months ago? Seems like it's been longer.
• So many posts this year, and only one fisking?
• What an embarrassing position this unfortunate fellow has been placed in by those embarrassing people.
• I actually screencapped this one from facebook myself.
• You had a chance to start Christmas shopping early this year.
• Sally Kohn hates Muslims.
• Myopic reactionary opposes rape, instead of opposing rape culture, which is what is cool to do instead now.
• Objectivist stoners think they're smarter than law students.
• I guess I actually did two fiskings this year. Forgot this one.
• More people would understand this if they'd been able to witness firsthand how VIVACIOUS this maniac was.
• Get a load of all this ooga-booga thoughts and prayers woo.

OK, I think you're pretty much up to date now.

N.M. Bashir has invited you to play Sarah Palin War on Christmas Soundboard

A special holiday diversion via NYmag.

The best of times, the worst of times

This year, there was a lot of advanced logic, and a lot of people got it. But there was also a lot of first amendment alarmism and poop swastikas.

Yuletide hate criminals at large

If you see any of these alarming enemies of progress, do not attempt to apprehend them yourself. Report them to tublr for re-education.

Happy best of 2015 week!

Internet trolls were the worst thing to happen in 2015. Riots were the best.

N.M. Bashir has invited you to play Merry Shitmess

I think I may have been working the poo angle a little hard lately.

From the people who get it files #6

Thomas Sowell on culture and geography

Me on Thomas Sowell:

We have reached peak ass

This ass fudge is exceptionally good ass fudge. Most other ass fudge is not as good.

N.M. Bashir has invited you to play poop shoot.

Step right up and shoot this poop.

Take THAT, ignorant fundies!

There WAS no King Daniel. And all those parts of the Bible about camels in North Africa aren't true either!

Thomas Sowell on the President's speech

Me on Thomas Sowell:

From the people who get it files #5

You gots a dictionary? Well, I gots a thesaurus, shitlord!

N.M. Bashir has invited you to play Sarah Palin

This won't work on my tablet, but apparently it's a card game?

HEY GODBAGS!

Thoughts and prayers to your magic sky daddy don't real!

Don't let this diversion distract you

No, look, over there at that other thing, not at this diversion.

This is punching up, so it must be funny

This is exactly what it would be like if the humorless hatespewers who rely on the shock value of the N-word were to have their way. They may SAY that they object to affected hypersensitivity and malicious misrepresentation, but you and I know what they ACTUALLY, secretly mean.

Lisa Simpson has ferreted out a thought criminal

...and invented paradigm challenging new definitions of "intent" and "vivacious" while she's at it. Because, no living person has ever had the experience of hearing something on T.V. about police brutality, and then some weedy acquaintance of theirs is all like dude someone should like blow up the pig HQ marijuana dude like hemp and shit yo. In the unlikely event that this should ever occur, there is NO question that the police would be notified.